POPZILLA!

BITCH FIGHT OF THE MILLENIUM!

2006-12-12T17:52:00.000-05:00

TOO DELICIOUS TO BE TRUE: Apparently, RICHARD GERE thinks that SLY STALLONE started that vicious "rumor" about him (you know, that gerbil one). This, according to....SLY STALLONE HIMSELF! But why would Gere think such a thing? Well apparently, the two had a bit of a tiff on the set of the classic film, LORDS OF FLATBUSH. This is the story, verbatim, from SLY:

Sly said, “I was eating a hotdog and he climbs in with a half a chicken covered in mustard with grease nearly dripping out of the aluminum wrapper. I said, ‘That thing is going to drip all over the place.’ He said, ‘Don’t worry about it.’ I said, ‘If it gets on my pants you’re gonna know about it.’ He proceeds to bite into the chicken and a small, greasy river of mustard lands on my thigh. I elbowed him in the side of the head and basically pushed him out of the car. The director had to make a choice: one of us had to go, one of us had to stay.”

So not only did Sly get Gere thrown off the film, but he also started a terrible rumor about him? But...he didn't? But...that's what Sly thinks Gere thinks? Omg, these two better pass each other a note before study hall and get this cleared up!

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: All-Star Edition!

2006-11-15T11:34:00.000-05:00

TRAILERPALOOZA!

2006-10-26T16:10:00.000-04:00

This is the time of year when all sorts of good movies start coming out for Oscar season. So get ready for some new trailers, all written and directed by former stars that Hollywood doesn't care about anymore!
First up is the trailer for COME EARLY MORNING starring ASHLEY JUDD and written and directed by JOEY LAUREN ADAMS. This got a great reception at Sundance earlier this year, with special kudos to Judd, whose other Oscar season movie, BUG, just got pushed to 2007. Check it here.
Second up is the trailer for BOBBY about the assassination of Robert Kennedy, written, directed by, and starring EMILIO ESTEVEZ along with dozens of starlets time forgot, including DEMI MOORE, HELEN HUNT, SHARON STONE, and ELIJAH WOOD. Check it here.

Lastly is the trailer for FARCE OF THE PENGUINS, a parody of last year's MARCH OF THE PENGUINS written, directed by, and starring BOB SAGET as the voice of one of the penguins. The only plus is that this is narrated by SIR SAMUEL L. JACKSON. Otherwise, it looks like the stinker of the year. Check it here.

IF YOU LIKE JACK BLACK AND PIRACY...

2006-10-25T13:30:00.000-04:00

...you're gonna love this. Because it's a clip of JACK BLACK talking about piracy. Movie and music piracy.

NEW GWEN STEFANI SINGLE:

2006-10-24T17:00:00.000-04:00

If you like yodeling and pseudo-raps, you're gonna LOVE this. Check it here.

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Lisa Rinna.

2006-10-24T15:28:00.000-04:00

THE LIZA & DAVID SHOW RELEASED FROM THE CRYPTKEEPERS VAULTS!

2006-10-19T19:13:00.000-04:00

Remember when LIZA MINNELLI married DAVID GEST? Remember (before the ugly divorce and the alcoholism) when they were still "happy"? Remember when THEY DECIDED TO HAVE THEIR OWN REALITY SHOW? Well, it happened. They filmed a pilot but it was never aired due to aforementioned ugly divorce. But now, thanks to the miracle of the internet, the first episode has been found and can be watched in three easy-to-digest installments! FUN DRINKING GAME: A cosmo for every time David says "my wife" - you'll be trashed within 30 seconds.

PART ONE: THE COFFEE TABLE
Includes such moments as: The happy couple getting served food by SYLVIA, Liza telling BEYONCE that she smells good, David buying LL COOL J albums, and Liza getting a dance lesson from former BRITNEY choreographer, WADE ROBESON and David discussing THE ELEPHANT MAN'S BONES.

PART TWO: THE HELP
Includes such moments as: an 8-year-old boy doing a spot-on impersonation of Liza, an appearances by RAY CHARLES, TINA KNOWLES, ISAAC MIZRAHI, SANDRA BERNHARD, LUTHER VANDROSS, LIZ SMITH, and ANASTASIA (who sneaks Liza some chocolate).

PART THREE: THE PARTY
Includes such moments as: David freaking out about a stain on a carpet, a Ray Charles / Liza duet, David showing his memorabilia collection to KELLY ROWLAND, DOMINICK DUNNE panning ANNA NICOLE SMITH's reality show, a Luther Vandross / Liza duet (with ASHFORD & SIMPSON), Liza bringing it home with a rendition of "Maybe this Time" for David (plus the one time you can see David sans sunglasses).

THE WORLD WAS DENIED SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL WITHOUT THIS SHOW. Sigh.

REMEMBER: WALK THE DINOSAUR.

2006-10-19T13:44:00.000-04:00

I was just reminded about the WAS (NOT WAS) song, WALK THE DINOSAUR, and now I urge you to both watch this video AND bring back this dance. The electric slide doesn't have shit on this thing!

ANDY DICK AS THE GREAT PUMPKIN ON THE MARTHA SHOW

2006-10-19T13:04:00.000-04:00

So obvs I DVR Martha every day (as everyone should) and the other day, none other than ANDY DICK stopped by to eff with Martha's master plan of making delightful carved pumpkins. Not only does he trump her on the decoration, he gets a little carried away with costuming himself in...pumpkin. Also, I firmly believe that they are the new ODD COUPLE. They need to take this act on the road!

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: K-Fed.

2006-10-17T15:04:00.000-04:00

BOY GEORGE QUOTE-O-RAMA!

2006-10-16T16:40:00.000-04:00

ON MADONNA: "I just think she's a vile, hideous, horrible human being with no redeeming qualities. There's nothing nice about her. I've never heard anyone say anything nice about her at all."

ON ROBBIE WILLIAMS: "He could use my help. The last album was terrible. He's at that point where he's just throwing anything out. He needs another 'Angels' or something really classy."

ON ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER: "[People] always go on about 'theatre is a dying art form and we must save it', and then we just put on another Andrew Lloyd Webber re-run. It's tragic."

ON ELTON JOHN (after a hotel lift failed on him): "Imagine if that was Elton John, the drama that would have ensued? David Furnish would be spitting feathers right now."

PITTSBURGH TO SIENNA MILLER: "SHITTSBURG" THIS.

2006-10-13T12:53:00.000-04:00

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Grace Jones.

2006-10-13T12:46:00.000-04:00

ANTI-TOASTER QUOTE OF THE DAY:

2006-10-13T11:15:00.000-04:00

"I guess I must have been a little overwrought. Too much pressure, too much work. You do things that go against good judgment. A few drinks later, and I was in the back of a police car wailing. 'I've been angry all my life and I try not to have it manifest itself. I can murder inanimate objects. You should see me choking the toaster in the morning!"' - MEL GIBSON.

NY POST EFF UP OF THE DAY:

2006-10-13T11:07:00.000-04:00

MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED: Sara Evans quits Dancing with the Stars!

2006-10-13T10:49:00.000-04:00

Dancing with the Stars contestant, Sara Evans, has quit the competition due to personal reasons. Sara, a country music star, was a part of the final 6. She just filed for divorce from her husband yesterday. She wants to commit her full time to her children and family. A statement was released: "Ms. Evans hopes her fans and TV viewers ... will respect and understand her need for privacy in the face of these recent events." She will make her last appearance on Tuesday night.

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE: Cats using computers.

2006-10-12T17:43:00.000-04:00

CELEBRITY PREGNANCY QUOTE OF THE DAY:

2006-10-12T15:57:00.000-04:00

(when asked if she was expecting):

"Oh my god that is just a disgusting question. And you know what? What if I couldn't have kids? You know what? That's the way you make women feel when you ask them that question." - SANDRA BULLOCK.

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Brooke Hogan.

2006-10-11T10:35:00.000-04:00

MENUDO RIDES AGAIN!

2006-10-10T16:38:00.000-04:00

For its 30th anniversary next year, boy band MENUDO will make a comeback, searching for a new generation of Ricky Martins and then showcasing the new group on a reality series. The New Menudo will feature a new group of 15-year-olds who “will star in a ‘Making the Band’-style series, in which they’ll all live together in New York City,” the New York Daily News reports.

Auditions start October 12 in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and will continue in other cities. Then, according to the show’s site, “Winners of the qualifying rounds will audition in public performances to be held at malls in New York, Miami, Orlando, San Juan, Houston, San Antonio, Chicago, San Diego, Phoenix, and Los Angeles early next year.” Those selected will be in the band until they turn 19, when a replacement will be selected; previously, the group consisted of teenagers ages 12 to 16 or so.

The reconstituted group was announced earlier this year, but the reality show component is new. It won’t be a talent search, though; instead, the group “will be promoted through a pop-culture marriage of ’80s nostalgia and a decidedly 21st-century entertainment trend — the reality show,” the Daily News says.

I would make fun of this, but I'm just too happy that MENUDO is back. My prayers have been answered!

PROJECT RUNWAY LOVE MATCH?

2006-10-10T15:27:00.000-04:00

Brandy might have found love in a reality TV star. Michael Knight of the current season of Project Runway met up with Brandy in Atlanta where the two were introduced by a friend. Since that meeting the two have flown back and forth to meet one another. A source said, "He's the perfect gentleman and has really won her affection." Brandy was also in the audience at his final Project Runway fashion show in NYC. WHAT THE EFF. Well maybe he can make her look less fug all the time.

A VIDEO TRIBUTE TO PET CLARK:

2006-10-10T12:16:00.000-04:00

Why? Because she's killer awesome, that's why. Just trust me on this. Watching these videos will make you remember that music and TV used to be truly amazing, and they might just brighten your day and/or change your life:

SIGN OF THE TIMES - Complete with flashy costumes, and dancing. ON CARS.

CALL ME - No, not the BLONDIE version, but this one has special guest appearances by (get this): PAUL LYNDE, DEAN MARTIN, CHARLES NELSON REILLY, ORSON WELLES, and LUCILLE BALL.

DON'T SLEEP IN THE SUBWAY - Simply the best song ever.

GUEST EMMY PLUG OF THE DAY: KFed on CSI

2006-10-09T10:15:00.000-04:00

GOLDEN GLOBES TESTIMONIAL OF THE DAY:

2006-10-09T10:10:00.000-04:00

"Shirley MacLaine and I drank like crazy, just putting away bottles of wine and making fun of everyone. I was plastered!" - RYAN PHILLIPPE

BREAKING NEWS: David Hasselhoff thinks Kitt was GAY.

2006-10-06T11:14:00.000-04:00

In a celebrity gay shocker more outrageous than when GEORGE MICHAEL came out, DAVID HASSELHOFF revealed that Kitt, the talking car from KNIGHT RIDER, might have just been a friend of Dorothy. He told students on a recent trip to Dublin, "We have some fairly X-rated outtakes on 'Knight Rider.' Kitt was constantly asking, 'Do you want me to take you home Michael?' in that very camp voice of his." I, for one, am STUNNED.

THE BEST ADVERTISEMENT FOR TAKING A BATH EVER:

2006-10-04T17:26:00.000-04:00

I don't know who MS PEACHEZ is. I don't know why she's always in the tub. All I know is that she likes it enough to make a video about it. And I think we should all be glad she did:

REMEMBER THE FACE OF SHANNA MOAKER:

2006-10-04T14:51:00.000-04:00

Not for being Miss America once.
Not for marrying Travis Barker once.
Not for being one of the worst contestants on DANCING WITH THE STARS since LISA RINNA.
Not for being fugly all the time.
Remember her for doing what the rest of us have only dreamt of: PUNCHING PARIS HILTON IN THE FACE.

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: THIS FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION TRAILER.

2006-10-04T13:24:00.000-04:00

CHRISTOPHER GUEST'S new film, FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION looks as if it might just be the funniest of his film's to date, but you're just going to have to be the judge. Check it here.

TODAY IN TV JUDGE NEWS:

2006-10-02T17:35:00.000-04:00

That's right - there's a new TV judge on the block, and apparently, she is spicy. That's not offensive, right? Well...better than saying JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED CALIENTE? Eh?

SOBBING: Ike Hanson just got married. Just now.

2006-10-02T13:18:00.000-04:00

Four years ago, the prettiest Hanson bro, Taylor got hitched. Now he has three kids. Last June, the baby Hanson, Zack, got hitched. And that just left Isaac. The older, wiser, edgier Hanson. And he was going to be all mine. Until he went and married his longtime girlfriend this weekend. THIS IS NOT OKAY! Sigh. Whatever. He's mormon, so it's not like it would have worked out anyway. But still.

GREY GARDENS AWARD OF THE DAY: Adam Ant.

2006-09-29T14:17:00.000-04:00

ACTUAL VIDEO OF ASHLEE SIMPSON IN CHICAGO!

2006-09-28T12:26:00.000-04:00

Okay, so she's no MELANIE GRIFFITH, but she's not all that bad. But she does seem to think that she's performing on Broadway, not the West End. And she seems to think it's okay to call a Broadway show "a Broadway." You've got to get a load of this:

CLAYMATE PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED:

2006-09-27T14:59:00.000-04:00

DLISTERS TAKE TO THE STAGE! YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

2006-09-26T15:54:00.000-04:00

ASHLEE SIMPSON in CHICAGO:DONNY OSMOND in BEAUTY AND THE BEAST:HAYLIE DUFF in HAIRSPRAY:

MEL GIBSON CONTINUES CAMPAIGN OF CRAZY:

2006-09-26T12:53:00.000-04:00

"I don't wanna be a doomsayer, but the Mayan calendar ends in 2012. So have fun, boys and girls!" - MEL GIBSON

CELEBRITY WEAVES OF THE DAMNED: All-Star Edition!

2006-09-21T18:38:00.000-04:00

MOVIES ARE OFFICIALLY OVER.

2006-09-21T14:39:00.000-04:00

Here are some actual projects in the works:

Exhibit A: DAVID BECKHAM BIOPIC STARRING KATIE HOLMES AS POSH SPICE.

Exhibit B: DISNEY JUNGLE CRUISE MOVIE

Exhibit C: I NOW PRONOUCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY (costarring David Spade).

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:

2006-09-19T18:39:00.000-04:00

HASSELHOFF FAN OF THE DAMNED HASSELHOFF!

RELIGIOIUS QUOTE OF THE DAMNED:

2006-09-19T15:11:00.000-04:00

(on Ashlee & Jessica Simpson):

"Their father has replaced his faith in the Lord with the love of money, which is the root of all evil. He has replaced holiness with horniness. Jessica and Ashlee will reap the dismal crops they are sowing. Their breasts will sag and their faces will wither and they will be left with nothing but a hollow shell." - Reverend Bob Harrington

CELEBRITY BEVERAGE AD OF THE DAMNED: LaToya Jackson

2006-09-19T14:40:00.000-04:00

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Madonna.

2006-09-19T12:06:00.000-04:00

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:

2006-09-18T18:02:00.000-04:00

SLIGHTLY DAZED HASSELHOFF!

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Elton John.

2006-09-18T18:00:00.000-04:00

ALL I HAVE TO SAY TODAY:

2006-09-18T17:48:00.000-04:00

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:

2006-09-15T18:07:00.000-04:00

COAT SIGNING HASSELHOFF!

GAY CELEBRITY PARTY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Lance Bass and Reichen Lehmkuhl

2006-09-15T17:31:00.000-04:00

FLIPPIN SWEET: Napoleon Dynamite's Wife is Preggers.

2006-09-15T13:34:00.000-04:00

Napoleon Dynamite star JON HEDER and his wife, Kirsten, are expecting their first child. Heder, 28, who stars in the upcoming School for Scoundrels, first alluded to the good news during a Hollywood Foreign Press news conference at the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills on Thursday. Heder met his wife, Kirsten, at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah.

GAY STORE POSTER OF THE DAMNED: The Little Dog Laughed.

2006-09-15T12:24:00.000-04:00

BARBARA WALTERS HAS COMPLETELY LOST IT:

2006-09-15T10:50:00.000-04:00

If you ever thought that BARBARA WALTERS might have jumped the shark, lost it, or just had a stroke, here is proof positive. Also, it's hilarious:

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:

2006-09-14T18:17:00.000-04:00

SOMEWHAT SLY HASSELHOFF!

THE GREATEST THING YOUR EYES WILL EVER SEE:

2006-09-14T15:53:00.000-04:00

Just trust me on this one. It's from THE DAILY SHOW and involves that commercial for Geico with LITTLE RICHARD, so you know it's on the level. Please just watch:

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:

2006-09-13T18:18:00.000-04:00

LOOKING FOR FREEDOM HASSELHOFF!

RADAR'S BACK +STEPHEN BALDWIN HAS A BOOK =

2006-09-13T16:58:00.000-04:00

THE FUNNIEST ARTICLE SINCE THAT ONE WHERE THEY TRIED TO GET STAR JONES TO ENTER AN EATING CONTEST! No, but really. First off, STEPHEN BALDWIN is now a born-again Christian who wrote a book called THE UNUSUAL SUSPECT: MY CALLING TO THE NEW HARDCORE MOVEMENT OF FAITH.

WAH? Exactly. Let's just say that this article is HIGHLY recommended. Here is a sampling: Radar: So can you name the seven deadly sins?
SB: Dude, I'm totally clueless.

Radar: Lust, greed, sloth, gluttony, wrath, envy, pride.
SB: Although wrath in the Bible isn't a sin.

Radar: Not in the hands of God, but it is in the hands of a mortal.
SB: Hey, you're pretty hip to this whole deal. Are you like some Jesus freak?

Radar: We did a little homework. Which deadly sin have you been most guilty of in your life?
SB: Wow. What's sloth?

For the full monty, CLICK HERE.

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE: Ashlee Simpson in CHICAGO.

2006-09-13T14:55:00.000-04:00

Starting in London September 25 playing the role of ROXIE HART for 6 weeks.

YOUTUBE "THE" BAND EXPLOSION:

2006-09-13T13:55:00.000-04:00

Well it's another slow news day, so I dug deep into the nethers of YouTube to find some choice videos of my current fav "the" bands, just for you!

First up - PHOENIX. I just saw them at Webster Hall last night, and these French dudes put on one kickin' show. Thomas Mars' baby mama, Sofia Coppola, was no where to be seen, but we all had fun without her nonetheless. Here is a "promo" video they made for their single, LONG DISTANCE CALL. If it isn't the most bizarre music video you've ever seen, it's certainly the Frenchest:

Second up - THE SPINTO BAND. I'm seeing these Delaware dudes next month and I can't wait. Their pseudo-stop-animation video for MANDY makes the wait that much harder. It also makes you long for the early days of MTV, when it was all about music and "technology."

Third up - RAZORLIGHT. These Brit dudes are my new "the" band finds, and are quickly trying to win my heart by being, well, awesome.

THE ANNUNCIATION OF JLO:

2006-09-13T10:44:00.000-04:00

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:

2006-09-12T18:05:00.000-04:00

BEACH CRUISIN' HASSELHOFF!

YEP, DAKOTA FANNING IS CREEPY.

2006-09-12T18:01:00.000-04:00

GOOD PARENTING QUOTE OF THE DAY:

2006-09-12T13:39:00.000-04:00

(on TomKat & TomKitten's recent VANITY FAIR cover) "Are you kidding me? Putting your f**king child on the cover of Vanity Fair?. Are they out of their minds? Using a child as a PR prop? Argh. In the grand scheme of things fame pales in comparison to family and child-rearing. I don't know Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, but I really cannot for a second fathom the mind set of parents who would sell pictures of their children and use their children to get better press coverage. I'm sorry, I try not to be too judgemental, but it's gross." - MOBY

WHAT THE EFF: SNAKES ON A REALITY SHOW?!?!

2006-09-12T13:20:00.000-04:00

Seemingly legit notice:

Seeking contestants for new reality show. Must send photo with inquiry. Influenced by the movie Snakes On A Plane, a new reality series is taking form. Distribution channels are still being negotiated.Borrowing from the momentum set by what is quickly becoming a cult classic, Snakes On A Plane, this reality show will provide drama, suspense and consequences unlike any seen on any show. Synopsis: 20 contestants (10 male/10 female) travel by commercial aircraft to 10 different cities around the world. With the crew and pilots secure, the contestants will share the cabin area with 200 snakes. 5 of the 200 are poisonous. Each flight will be between 5 -12 hours in length. The reward at the end of each flight will be a day spent in luxury visiting the exotic destination city. Contestants can then choose to fly 3 friends out and extend their visit for week, all expense paid OR get back on the flight for the next leg of the competition. If at any time a contestant is bit by any of the 5 poisonous snake, antivenom will be administered and they will be eliminated. The contestant(s) that manage to survive through all 10 cities will win a reward still to be determined. Serious casting inquiries only. Contact the casting agent at lcaa_productions@yahoo.com

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Carmen Electra.

2006-09-12T11:41:00.000-04:00

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:

2006-09-11T18:15:00.000-04:00

CAR STRADDLING HASSELHOFF!

EVA LONGORIA TO FOLLOW IN MISCHA BARTON'S FOOTSTEPS?

2006-09-11T15:06:00.000-04:00

Apparently, much like MISCHA BARTON, EVA LONGORIA wants to focus on film roles rather than TV. This has led basically everyone on the internet to suspect that she will be killed off this season's DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, hopefully in a Barton-esque car crash/car explosion. But I think these bitches need to learn a thing or two from Sir DAVID CARUSO, unless they have a big hankering to end up on CSI: MIAMI.

METH ADDICTION QUOTE OF THE DAY:

2006-09-11T13:17:00.000-04:00

"It was the hardest boyfriend I ever had to break up with. I dug deep as to why I got there. It's the drug that's addicting. But it's why you start doing it in the first place that's interesting. A lot of it was being a child actor; I learned to suppress feelings." - FERGIE

WHAT THE EFF COUPLE OF THE MOMENT:

2006-09-11T12:23:00.000-04:00

ORLANDO BLOOM and KATE BOSWORTH have apparently ended their relationship yet again. The pair are always on and off again and things have seemed to cooled down. Just days after splitting from Kate, Orlando has set his eyes on none other than UMA THURMAN. The pair got cozy on the set of a Honda commercial, Uma was shooting. Witness said: "Orlando and Uma have been spending a lot of time together. He came down to visit her on the set of a Honda commercial she was shooting and they looked very comfortable around one another."

I think I speak for everyone when I say WHAT THE EFF?!?!?!?!

CELEBRITY PHOTOSPREAD OF THE DAMNED: Janet Jackson.

2006-09-11T12:21:00.000-04:00

OLIVER STONE CONTINUES TO BEAT DEAD HORSE.

2006-09-11T10:48:00.000-04:00

OLLIE STONE will release a third version of his camp classic, ALEXANDER, n a bid to win over critics who originally mauled the movie. He insists the cinematic version of Alexander was hampered by time constraints after being slashed to 168 minutes in length. Stone originally wanted to release the movie in its original three-hour form but concerned studio bosses forced him to axe scenes containing homosexual content. The new DVD-only release will be a staggering three hours and 40 minutes in length, and will feature footage edited out of the original cut. Stone says, "This thing has haunted me. By truncating it into three hours, we lost things that were important. This version allows you to immerse yourself in the classical world." And by "classical," he means "homosexual." So get yourself to the Blockbuster in Chelsea and make a night of it.

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:

2006-09-08T18:05:00.000-04:00

COMPLACENT HASSELHOFF!

BRAD TAKES A STAND. A GAY STAND.

2006-09-08T17:02:00.000-04:00

As you may recall, CHARLIZE THERON said that she wouldn't marry long-time boyfriend STUART TOWNSEND until gay people are able to wed in the US. Well now BRAD PITT has taken the same stand, saying he won't marry ANGELINA JOLIE for the same reason: "Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able."
Clearly, Americans will only grant homosexuals the right to get married when they're so starved of celebrity weddings that they are actually FORCED to. Way to take a stand, Brad!

MOS DEF IS A FREEDOM FIGHTER!

2006-09-08T16:13:00.000-04:00

Here is some actual footage of MOS DEF being arrested outside the VMAs while performing a song about the President's response to Hurricane Katrina. He is actually pulled from his make-shift stage during the song.This is some straight up crazy shizzy, especially since most of his supporters present are the whitest white kids you've ever seen. This has to be seen to be beweaved:

DOLLY OF THE WEEK:

2006-09-08T15:20:00.000-04:00

KENNEDY CENTER HONOREE DOLLY! On December 3, Dolly will finally get her propers when she is honored at the Kennedy Center, along with ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER, SMOKEY ROBINSON, STEPHEN SPIELBERG and some other dudes I don't care about. Go Dolly!

BEYONCE IS NO JOSEPHINE BAKER....

2006-09-08T14:59:00.000-04:00

...but that didn't stop her from wearing this monstrosity to FASHION ROCKS last night...

COSTELLO & KRALL MAKE IT A DOUBLE!

2006-09-08T10:51:00.000-04:00

ELVIS COSTELLO and DIANA KRALL are celebrating all over again with the news they're expecting two babies. The singers originally thought they were getting one bundle of joy but were shocked to learn that six-month-pregnant Krall is having twins. Krall, 41, says, "I'm not kidding. I have twins on my mother's side as well. We know (the sex) and everyone's been asking me, but we're keeping that private because we just want to have something for ourselves." The babies will arrive just in time for the couple's third wedding anniversary on December 6.

THANK JEBUS: ELLEN DEGENERES TO HOST OSCARS!

2006-09-08T10:49:00.000-04:00

"When (Oscars producer) Laura Ziskin called, I was thrilled. There's two things I've always wanted to do in my life. One is to host the Oscars. The second is to get a call from Laura Ziskin. You can imagine that day's diary entry." - ELLEN DEGENERES

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:

2006-09-07T18:09:00.000-04:00

FURROWED BROW HASSELHOFF!

HIGHLY PLAUSIBLE SURI CRUISE CONSPIRACY THEORY:

2006-09-07T16:07:00.000-04:00

...from A SOCIALITE'S LIFE (so you know it's true):

The story goes that when Katie Holmes split with her exboyfriend Chris Klein in March 2005, she may or may not have realized she was pregnant with his baby. She started dating Tom in April, 2005, and according to this tale, when Tom found out she was expecting, he not only didn't MIND , but he insisted on taking credit for the pregnancy. They abruptly got engaged in June 2005. Since the baby was scheduled to be born too soon into their relationship, Tom and Katie faked the birth date. She actually gave birth months EARLIER than the announced birth. She wore padding for the last few months after the REAL birth, and made sure she was photographed. In case you don't remember, Suri's announced April 18 birth was oddly undocumented - there were no hospital records or specifics. Where WAS Suri born? Tom and Katie didn't want their baby photographed because it would be apparent that Suri wasn't newborn. After a few months it's not so easy to recognize a baby's exact age. Have you noticed that Suri has uniquely slanted eyes like Chris Klein?

THIS IS SOME STRAIGHT UP SOAP OPERA SHIZZY!

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE: John Travolta in the Hairspray Movie

2006-09-07T13:32:00.000-04:00

LINDSAY LOHAN IS TOTALLY POLITICAL BUT DOESN'T WANT TO, LIKE, TALK ABOUT IT.

2006-09-07T13:23:00.000-04:00

Now that she's in the new film BOBBY, about RFK, LINDSAY LOHAN is suddenly into politics, though she claims that she always has been. She even got a little Diddy and decided to tell people to vote or, like, die or something: "For people of my generation, I think it's important to bring awareness of a great leader. I feel I have always been somewhat politically engaged. I strongly encourage people of my age and generation to have a say and to vote, and to involve themselves in what's going on in the world, because they are living in it. I've always been like that but I keep it to myself. It's safer that way." So...do vote and do be political, but...don't talk about it? Great advice, Lindsay. Please just go back to being a party monster.

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Lisa-Marie Presley and Christina Aguilera.

2006-09-07T11:46:00.000-04:00

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:

2006-09-06T17:56:00.000-04:00

HASSELHOFF TOAST HASSELHOFF!

VOM ENDUCING COUPLE OF THE MOMENT:

2006-09-06T16:53:00.000-04:00

FROM THE HALLMARK HALL OF FAME VAULTS: One Against the Wind

2006-09-06T16:10:00.000-04:00

Drawing on viewers love of a good Holocaust TV movie, HHoF: ONE AGAINST THE WIND tells the story of Countess Mary Lindell (JUDY EFFIN' DAVIS), who works for the French Red Cross in occupied France during World War II and helps allied soldiers who have been shot down to escape to the unoccupied side. Her activities are complicated by her high profile and her daughter (KATE BECKINSALE), who falls in love with a German officer. Oh, and SAM NEILL is in it for good measure.

YUP, CHRISTINA AGUILERA IS OFFICIALLY A GAY ICON.

2006-09-06T15:57:00.000-04:00

CELEBRITY PLAY DATE OF THE DAMNED: Heidi Klum & Gwen Stefani.

2006-09-06T15:54:00.000-04:00

PROOF THAT BLADES OF GLORY WILL BE HILARIOUS:

2006-09-06T14:39:00.000-04:00

...as if the concept wasn't funny enough - WILL FERRELL and JON HEDER play two rival Olympic ice skaters who were stripped of their gold medals and permanently banned from men's single competition. Now they've found a loophole that will allow them to qualify as a pairs team. Plus AMY POEHLER, WILL ARNETT and JENNA FISCHER are in it. But now we haveTHIS PICTURE. HELLO! HILARIOUS!

GWEN STEFANI IS THE NEW BRATZ!

2006-09-06T11:52:00.000-04:00

GWEN STEFANI announced yesterday that she will bring her trademark rock 'n' roll style to the toy industry with a series of limited-edition dolls.There are eight dolls in all, and Stefani has dubbed the line Love. Angel. Music. Baby. Fashion Dolls. Each wears one of the colorful looks Stefani sported on her latest world tour. "The Harajuku Girls and I wore such wicked costumes we had to share them with the world again," said Stefani.

Each 10-inch doll looks like the platinum-blond rocker or one of her Harajuku Girl dancers and comes with Stefani-inspired collectibles such as posters, pocket mirrors or trading cards. They will be available for $24.95 at Target.com and other retailers.

CATE BLANCHETT IS BOB DYLAN:

2006-09-06T11:26:00.000-04:00

Extra special pictures from TODD HAYNES'S new film, I'M NOT THERE, in which BLANCHETT, HEATH LEDGER, RICHARD GERE, CHRISTIAN BALE, JULIANNE MOORE, and others portray legendary crypt keeper BOB DYLAN:

DISCOVERY OF THE DAY: RICKY GERVAIS WAS ONCE A YOUNG, GORGEOUS POP STAR!

2006-09-06T11:08:00.000-04:00

Beweave it or not: circa 1983-84, RICKY GERVAIS was in a new wave band called SEONA DANCING (pronounced Shawna Dancing). If you like DAVID BOWIE, DURAN DURAN, SPANDAU BALLET, THE SMITHS, or really...any new wave music, Seona Dancing might just be your new favorite pop band. CHECK THEM OUT:

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:

2006-09-05T18:31:00.000-04:00

CLICK HASSELHOFF!

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Adam Brody.

2006-09-05T14:44:00.000-04:00

TV RANT: Is TV over?

2006-09-05T13:31:00.000-04:00

I have long been a staunch supporter of TV, and yet in the last week, there have been such scary abominations on TV that I can't help but think that I might have to become one of those people who respond to "what are your favorite tv shows?" with "i don't really watch tv." I used to hate and judge these tv snubbing asshole hippies, but what if I became one of them? Here is the evidence:

EXHIBIT A: CELEBRITY DUETS.Now when I first heard about this, I thought that it would be my new fav reality tv show. But after watching a full 2 hours of the thing, I am singing a different tune (believe me, no pun intended.) The premise is that there are these non-sing celebs paired with "celebrity singers" (aka MICHAEL BOLTON, so clearly this show is already lying to my face). But the lies continue because half of the non-singing celebs ARE ACTUAL SINGERS!!!! The front runner after the first episode is Queer Eye asshole JAI RODRIGUEZ, who, before earning money by telling straight dudes to make eye contact, STARRED IN RENT ON BROADWAY. HE IS AN EFFING SINGER! Other frontrunners are LUCY LAWLESS who appeared in GREASE on Broadway, LEAH THOMPSON, who did the national tour of CABARET, and ALFONSO RIBIERO, who appeared in THE TAP DANCE KID on Broadway. So basically these are duets between musical theater singers who once made bad tv shows and now have to sing on this bad tv show.
How bad? Well I was hoping for the blatant, airy cheesiness of DANCING WITH THE STARS, but instead got the self-importance that was WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONARE paired with the low-budget drivel that was SKATING WITH CELEBRITIES. Granted, there are few places these days when you can see a duet of "Baby I Love Your Way" sung by CHEECH MARIN and PETER FRAMPTON, but come the eff on. Well, the only reason might be in the celebrity judges, who include LITTLE RICHARD spewing such advice as "I was born at night, but I wasn't born last night." Wha?

EXHIBIT B: THE MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS.For twenty years now, MTV has been trotting out this dog and pony show and it was all in good fun until people actually started taking this thing seriously. Now when people win an award, they actually think they've accomplished something. In any case, I have never felt so old/at odds with pop culture as when PANIC IN THE DISCO actually won video of the year. Nor have I wanted to vom more than when actually good artists were reduced to pawns in MTV's game of assholery. JACK BLACK was an underappreciated master of ceremonies, geniuses OK Go! were a bizarre novelty on treadmills, and THE RACONTEURS were the effin house band! What has the world come to?

EXHIBIT C: THE UNAUTHORIZED STORY OF DIFF'RENT STROKES.

You know TV has jumped the shark as it were when it starts celebrating it's lowest common denominator. Not satisfied with the existing behind-the-scenes accounts of one of TV's worst sitcoms (in the form of E! True Hollywood Stories, VH1 100 Greatest Kid Stars, or the 2000 made-for-TV movie about Diff'rent Strokes starring TODD BRIDGES himself as a crack dealer pushing dope on...himself).
But this "revealing tell-all" has something new: actors which look nothing like the people they're supposed to portray. The movie follows the show's rise to popularity and the young stars who were caught in the middle and had to deal with kidney failures, drug addictions, and teen pregnancies. Oh, and parents that stole all their money. Sure, these kids had it bad, but who cares? Apparently, only TODD BRIDGES and GARY COLEMAN, who appear as talking heads sporatically through the film, providing an unnecessary documentary feel absent from such other NBC made-for-tv atrocities as THE UNAUTHORIZED STORY OF MORK AND MINDY. I will admit that most of the movie was a constant bizarre wig parade and there was an especially enlightening scene in which teenage has-beens Bridges and DANA PLATO sit by a pool smoking crack and saying "we used to be stars."

Well TV used to be good. Then it was so bad it was good. Now it's so bad it's... bad. Meanwhile, ROSIE O'DONNELL starts on THE VIEW and KATIE COURIC starts on THE CBS EVENING NEWS today, so I think I rest my case.

BARBARA TO ROSIE: QUIT BLOGGIN'!

2006-09-05T10:35:00.000-04:00

As we all know, ROSIE O'DONNELL has a blog, and she's not afraid to use it. Well, she should be afraid since she has now incurred the wrath of BARBARA WALTERS. Rosie complained about a promotional skit from the new season of the show writing in an all lowercase style saying, "I saw the new view promos. "Found myself/in the position/i loathe the most/powerless." Walters discussed her feelings about O'Donnell's web posts with Newsweek magazine saying, "I didn't like the blog. I'm counting on Rosie's intelligence and sensitivity and humor. "This is, after all, an entertainment show. It is based on people who like each other and are having a good time, not on people who are arguing and unhappy." Soon after Walters spoke to the magazine, she received flowers and a card from her new co-host reading, "Barbara, I only want the promos and the show to be great. And I love you. Love, Ro."

HAPPY LABOR DAY WEEKEND, DUDES!

2006-09-01T15:32:00.000-04:00

If you are expecting me to post before Tuesday morning, you can think again. I'm hightailing it out of here and heading for Cali, so you're just going to have to go to some BBQs and forget about pop culture news for a while. Okay? Okay. Have a super fantastic weekend, dudes!

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:

2006-09-01T15:31:00.000-04:00

SUPER PATRIOTIC HASSELHOFF!

MOVIE HOMEWORK: Crank.

2006-09-01T14:58:00.000-04:00

You can see the studio meeting now - "what if we remade SPEED, but in stead of a bus, we used a dude?" And...greenlight. That seems to be the thinking behind CRANK, in which Brit meathead stand-by JASON STATHAM learns that a poison injected into his body will kill him if his heart rate drops slows a certain point. Get it? HE'S THE BUS! A movie with a concept this brilliant cannot be missed.

DOLLY OF THE WEEK:

2006-09-01T14:53:00.000-04:00

RETRO T-SHIRT DOLLY!

ANGELINA HATES OPRAH MORE THAN SHE LOVES AFRICA.

2006-09-01T14:33:00.000-04:00

The messiah herself - OPRAH - has started an all girls school in Africa and asked sexy martyr ANGELINA JOLIE if she wanted to be involved, but Angie wasn't havin' it. Says a source:
“Oprah thought Angelina would jump at the chance because she knows how much Angelina loves Africa. Oprah says it’s the last time she’ll ask Angelina to help with any of her causes. Jolie is allegedly still raw from Oprah’s siding with Aniston in the wake of her split from Jolie’s new man Brad Pitt." Obvs, this could all be cleared up with a simple dance off. Duh.

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Britney & Jamie Lynn Spears.

2006-09-01T13:02:00.000-04:00

GREY GARDENS AWARD OF THE DAY: JLo

2006-09-01T11:09:00.000-04:00

MOS DEF ARRESTED!!

2006-09-01T10:59:00.000-04:00

Rapper / actor / dreamboat MOS DEF was arrested last night following MTV'S Video Music Awards. He pulled up to Radio City Music Hall and started performing on a flatbed truck at 10pm last night, and quickly attracted a large crowd. At first, he was allowed to perform since he was in possession of a public performance permit. However, we he reportedly performed “Katrina Clap,” a savage attack on President George W. Bush's administration's slow response to Hurricane Katrina last year, NYPD officers told him and his entourage to pull the plug and began making arrests. Mos Def's publicist insists her client was handled harshly and revealed plans to release a video of the incident on the interweb. Um...is the NYPD a band of Republican assholes? Well, this isn't the first time someone has been arrested for speaking out against this administration in NYC. I'm just sayin'.