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Thursday, October 26, 2006

TRAILERPALOOZA!

This is the time of year when all sorts of good movies start coming out for Oscar season. So get ready for some new trailers, all written and directed by former stars that Hollywood doesn't care about anymore!
First up is the trailer for COME EARLY MORNING starring ASHLEY JUDD and written and directed by JOEY LAUREN ADAMS. This got a great reception at Sundance earlier this year, with special kudos to Judd, whose other Oscar season movie, BUG, just got pushed to 2007. Check it here.
Second up is the trailer for BOBBY about the assassination of Robert Kennedy, written, directed by, and starring EMILIO ESTEVEZ along with dozens of starlets time forgot, including DEMI MOORE, HELEN HUNT, SHARON STONE, and ELIJAH WOOD. Check it here.

Lastly is the trailer for FARCE OF THE PENGUINS, a parody of last year's MARCH OF THE PENGUINS written, directed by, and starring BOB SAGET as the voice of one of the penguins. The only plus is that this is narrated by SIR SAMUEL L. JACKSON. Otherwise, it looks like the stinker of the year. Check it here.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

IF YOU LIKE JACK BLACK AND PIRACY...

...you're gonna love this. Because it's a clip of JACK BLACK talking about piracy. Movie and music piracy.




Tuesday, October 24, 2006

NEW GWEN STEFANI SINGLE:


If you like yodeling and pseudo-raps, you're gonna LOVE this. Check it here.

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Lisa Rinna.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

THE LIZA & DAVID SHOW RELEASED FROM THE CRYPTKEEPERS VAULTS!

Remember when LIZA MINNELLI married DAVID GEST? Remember (before the ugly divorce and the alcoholism) when they were still "happy"? Remember when THEY DECIDED TO HAVE THEIR OWN REALITY SHOW? Well, it happened. They filmed a pilot but it was never aired due to aforementioned ugly divorce. But now, thanks to the miracle of the internet, the first episode has been found and can be watched in three easy-to-digest installments! FUN DRINKING GAME: A cosmo for every time David says "my wife" - you'll be trashed within 30 seconds.


PART ONE: THE COFFEE TABLE
Includes such moments as: The happy couple getting served food by SYLVIA, Liza telling BEYONCE that she smells good, David buying LL COOL J albums, and Liza getting a dance lesson from former BRITNEY choreographer, WADE ROBESON and David discussing THE ELEPHANT MAN'S BONES.




PART TWO: THE HELP
Includes such moments as: an 8-year-old boy doing a spot-on impersonation of Liza, an appearances by RAY CHARLES, TINA KNOWLES, ISAAC MIZRAHI, SANDRA BERNHARD, LUTHER VANDROSS, LIZ SMITH, and ANASTASIA (who sneaks Liza some chocolate).



PART THREE: THE PARTY
Includes such moments as: David freaking out about a stain on a carpet, a Ray Charles / Liza duet, David showing his memorabilia collection to KELLY ROWLAND, DOMINICK DUNNE panning ANNA NICOLE SMITH's reality show, a Luther Vandross / Liza duet (with ASHFORD & SIMPSON), Liza bringing it home with a rendition of "Maybe this Time" for David (plus the one time you can see David sans sunglasses).




THE WORLD WAS DENIED SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL WITHOUT THIS SHOW. Sigh.

REMEMBER: WALK THE DINOSAUR.

I was just reminded about the WAS (NOT WAS) song, WALK THE DINOSAUR, and now I urge you to both watch this video AND bring back this dance. The electric slide doesn't have shit on this thing!



ANDY DICK AS THE GREAT PUMPKIN ON THE MARTHA SHOW

So obvs I DVR Martha every day (as everyone should) and the other day, none other than ANDY DICK stopped by to eff with Martha's master plan of making delightful carved pumpkins. Not only does he trump her on the decoration, he gets a little carried away with costuming himself in...pumpkin. Also, I firmly believe that they are the new ODD COUPLE. They need to take this act on the road!




Tuesday, October 17, 2006

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: K-Fed.

Monday, October 16, 2006

BOY GEORGE QUOTE-O-RAMA!



ON MADONNA: "I just think she's a vile, hideous, horrible human being with no redeeming qualities. There's nothing nice about her. I've never heard anyone say anything nice about her at all."










ON ROBBIE WILLIAMS: "He could use my help. The last album was terrible. He's at that point where he's just throwing anything out. He needs another 'Angels' or something really classy."








ON ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER: "[People] always go on about 'theatre is a dying art form and we must save it', and then we just put on another Andrew Lloyd Webber re-run. It's tragic."






ON ELTON JOHN (after a hotel lift failed on him): "Imagine if that was Elton John, the drama that would have ensued? David Furnish would be spitting feathers right now."

Friday, October 13, 2006

PITTSBURGH TO SIENNA MILLER: "SHITTSBURG" THIS.

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Grace Jones.

ANTI-TOASTER QUOTE OF THE DAY:



"I guess I must have been a little overwrought. Too much pressure, too much work. You do things that go against good judgment. A few drinks later, and I was in the back of a police car wailing. 'I've been angry all my life and I try not to have it manifest itself. I can murder inanimate objects. You should see me choking the toaster in the morning!"' - MEL GIBSON.

NY POST EFF UP OF THE DAY:

MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED: Sara Evans quits Dancing with the Stars!


Dancing with the Stars contestant, Sara Evans, has quit the competition due to personal reasons. Sara, a country music star, was a part of the final 6. She just filed for divorce from her husband yesterday. She wants to commit her full time to her children and family. A statement was released: "Ms. Evans hopes her fans and TV viewers ... will respect and understand her need for privacy in the face of these recent events." She will make her last appearance on Tuesday night.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE: Cats using computers.

CELEBRITY PREGNANCY QUOTE OF THE DAY:


(when asked if she was expecting):

"Oh my god that is just a disgusting question. And you know what? What if I couldn't have kids? You know what? That's the way you make women feel when you ask them that question." - SANDRA BULLOCK.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Brooke Hogan.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

MENUDO RIDES AGAIN!

For its 30th anniversary next year, boy band MENUDO will make a comeback, searching for a new generation of Ricky Martins and then showcasing the new group on a reality series. The New Menudo will feature a new group of 15-year-olds who “will star in a ‘Making the Band’-style series, in which they’ll all live together in New York City,” the New York Daily News reports.

Auditions start October 12 in San Juan, Puerto Rico, and will continue in other cities. Then, according to the show’s site, “Winners of the qualifying rounds will audition in public performances to be held at malls in New York, Miami, Orlando, San Juan, Houston, San Antonio, Chicago, San Diego, Phoenix, and Los Angeles early next year.” Those selected will be in the band until they turn 19, when a replacement will be selected; previously, the group consisted of teenagers ages 12 to 16 or so.

The reconstituted group was announced earlier this year, but the reality show component is new. It won’t be a talent search, though; instead, the group “will be promoted through a pop-culture marriage of ’80s nostalgia and a decidedly 21st-century entertainment trend — the reality show,” the Daily News says.


I would make fun of this, but I'm just too happy that MENUDO is back. My prayers have been answered!

PROJECT RUNWAY LOVE MATCH?


Brandy might have found love in a reality TV star. Michael Knight of the current season of Project Runway met up with Brandy in Atlanta where the two were introduced by a friend. Since that meeting the two have flown back and forth to meet one another. A source said, "He's the perfect gentleman and has really won her affection." Brandy was also in the audience at his final Project Runway fashion show in NYC. WHAT THE EFF. Well maybe he can make her look less fug all the time.

A VIDEO TRIBUTE TO PET CLARK:

Why? Because she's killer awesome, that's why. Just trust me on this. Watching these videos will make you remember that music and TV used to be truly amazing, and they might just brighten your day and/or change your life:

SIGN OF THE TIMES - Complete with flashy costumes, and dancing. ON CARS.




CALL ME - No, not the BLONDIE version, but this one has special guest appearances by (get this): PAUL LYNDE, DEAN MARTIN, CHARLES NELSON REILLY, ORSON WELLES, and LUCILLE BALL.



DON'T SLEEP IN THE SUBWAY - Simply the best song ever.



Monday, October 09, 2006

GUEST EMMY PLUG OF THE DAY: KFed on CSI

GOLDEN GLOBES TESTIMONIAL OF THE DAY:


"Shirley MacLaine and I drank like crazy, just putting away bottles of wine and making fun of everyone. I was plastered!" - RYAN PHILLIPPE

Friday, October 06, 2006

BREAKING NEWS: David Hasselhoff thinks Kitt was GAY.


In a celebrity gay shocker more outrageous than when GEORGE MICHAEL came out, DAVID HASSELHOFF revealed that Kitt, the talking car from KNIGHT RIDER, might have just been a friend of Dorothy. He told students on a recent trip to Dublin, "We have some fairly X-rated outtakes on 'Knight Rider.' Kitt was constantly asking, 'Do you want me to take you home Michael?' in that very camp voice of his." I, for one, am STUNNED.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

THE BEST ADVERTISEMENT FOR TAKING A BATH EVER:

I don't know who MS PEACHEZ is. I don't know why she's always in the tub. All I know is that she likes it enough to make a video about it. And I think we should all be glad she did:



REMEMBER THE FACE OF SHANNA MOAKER:

Not for being Miss America once.
Not for marrying Travis Barker once.
Not for being one of the worst contestants on DANCING WITH THE STARS since LISA RINNA.
Not for being fugly all the time.
Remember her for doing what the rest of us have only dreamt of: PUNCHING PARIS HILTON IN THE FACE.

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION: THIS FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION TRAILER.


CHRISTOPHER GUEST'S new film, FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION looks as if it might just be the funniest of his film's to date, but you're just going to have to be the judge. Check it here.

Monday, October 02, 2006

TODAY IN TV JUDGE NEWS:

maria-lopez-spicy.jpg

That's right - there's a new TV judge on the block, and apparently, she is spicy. That's not offensive, right? Well...better than saying JUSTICE WILL BE SERVED CALIENTE? Eh?

SOBBING: Ike Hanson just got married. Just now.

http://www.hanson.net/Members/Tour/Images/AcousticTour/nola35.jpg

Four years ago, the prettiest Hanson bro, Taylor got hitched. Now he has three kids. Last June, the baby Hanson, Zack, got hitched. And that just left Isaac. The older, wiser, edgier Hanson. And he was going to be all mine. Until he went and married his longtime girlfriend this weekend. THIS IS NOT OKAY! Sigh. Whatever. He's mormon, so it's not like it would have worked out anyway. But still.