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Monday, July 31, 2006

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:

FEATHERED HASSELHOFF!

NICHOLSON, DAMON, DiCAPRIO & WAHLBERG IN ONE MOVIE?


I think I just passed out. Only MARTIN SCORCESE could get all these dudes in one room, let alone costarring in his new movie, THE DEPARTED. If you like good acting, guns, and the song COMFORTABLY NUMB (the original, not the SCISSOR SISTERS version - sorry gays), you might just like this preview. Check it.

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Sebastian Bach.

STRANGER THAN FICTION - BEST MOVIE EVER?


The trailer has come out for the new movie, STRANGER THAN FICTION. It's about EMMA THOMPSON, who is writing a book which is unintentionally about WILL FERRELL, who is driven mad by her narrating his life. Also, DUSTIN HOFFMAN, QUEEN LATIFAH, TONY HALE (Buster from Arrested Development) and MAGGIE GYLLENHAAL are in it. So clearly, it's gold. Check the trailer here.

CLASSY WEDDING OF THE CENTURY:

Friday, July 28, 2006

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:



GREASED UP HASSELHOFF!

THIS AGAIN?


If you've never seen TRUE CONFESSIONS or just like seeing this same murder story again, you might want to check out THE BLACK DAHLIA, starring JOSH HARTNETT, SCARLETT JOHANSSON, AARON ECKHART and HILARY SWANK (trying desperately to look like a woman). Check the trailer here.

WHEN WILL THIS END?

TARA REID'S BREASTS HAVE MINDS OF THEIR OWN!



Well someone has to do the thinking for her. Anyway, remember when TARA REID inadvertently went topless in front of the paparazzi on the red carpet DIDDY'S 35th birthday party in 2004? Well bitch has done it again. She was snapped falling out of her skimpy bikini while splashing around with a friend's kid in the pool at Miami's Delano hotel. A hotel guest says, "She had no idea that her top had fallen off." No surprises here!

DOLLY OF THE WEEK:

CROSS DRESSED DOLLY! A theatre in Kansas City has been performing a parody of the film 9 to 5 starring men in drag and quickly became a late night favorite. Says the shows creator, "We’ve added four new musical numbers. That’s a biggie. We steal from all parts of Dolly’s career, from the late ’60s to ‘The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas,’ which was her follow-up movie to ‘9 to 5.’ We also show video of us, which is pretty funny.” There are also BYOW (Bring Your Own Wig) audience participation contests. So if you're in Kansas City anytime soon, check it out?

EVA LONGORIA HATES TAKING HER CLOTHES OFF.


EVA LONGORIA has begged her bosses on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES to stop making her take baths on the TV show - because she hates spending all day naked in water. She has grown tired of being forced to strip off while her male cast mates parade through the set to ogle her naked body. She says, "I didn't realize how much lingerie I'd be in and how much time I'd spend in the bathtub. I actually had to go to the director and go, 'Can you please stop putting me in the bathtub?' It's a pain in the butt to shoot. You're naked and they just fill it up with bubbles and basically they put body make-up on you so you look beautifully tanned with flawless skin and then it just comes off in the water so you're sitting in this brown water all day. " Um...yeah. Clearly, she hates being naked all the time. Clearly.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:


DEVIL HASSELHOFF!

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Colin Farrell.

BAND OF THE WEEK: Barbie and the Rockers.


When BARBIE wanted to rock, all she had to do was form BARBIE AND THE ROCKERS and the rest was, literally, history. The band consisted of Barbie's friends, DANA, DIVA, DEE DEE, DEREK & KEN (who clearly could never get a paying gig by himself). They had enough day-glow and teased out hair to prove that they prefered style over substance. The band was first introduced in the video, BARBIE & THE ROCKERS VOL 1: OUT OF THIS WORLD in which Barbie becomes the world's peace ambassador and decides to sing for peace from a space station. As much as I love JEM, she never did anything that cool! Besides, who could forget the classic B&TR hits: BARBIE AND THE ROCKERS THEME, DRESSIN' UP, BORN WITH A MIKE, STRETCHIN' IT, BEST FRIENDS, DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC, JUST TO DANCE WITH YOU, and (last but not least) REACHING FOR THE STARS. True, she was never truly outrageous, but Barbie did rock. And it wasn't just her band name that proved it.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IS NOT HOMOPHOBIC.


Well if he was, he wouldn't have any fans left. But anyway, this is what JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE had to say about LANCE BASS [finally] coming out of the closet: "Lance is one of my great friends. I support him and wish him all the happiness in the world." Oh, and if you were wondering what JOEY FATONE thinks, here's what he's said, "He took years to really think about how he was going to tell everyone. I back him up 100 percent." FATONE and BASS are currently developing a ODD COUPLE-like sitcom in which Bass's character would be gay, since ON THE LINE was such a success. As for the rest of *NSYNC, I haven't heard boo. Clearly, I need to know how CHRIS KIRKPATRICK feels about all this. In related news, is JC CHASEZ still alive?

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Barbra Streisand.

FOR EVERYONE WHO EVER WANTED TO SEE HARRY POTTER NAKED...(SIGH. GROSS.)


DANIEL RADCLIFFE, the 17-year-old star of the hugely popular HARRY POTTER movies, will play the role of an emotionally disturbed boy who takes off his clothes and blinds horses in a London revival of Peter Shaffer's drama EQUUS. The production is scheduled to open in the West End in January. RICHARD GRIFFITHS, who has costarred in several of the Harry Potter movies as Uncle Vernon, will co-star as the psychiatrist who tries to save the boy. Griffiths is a seasoned theatre professional who won a TONY last month for THE HISTORY BOYS, but this marks Radcliffe's stage debut.

HASSELHOFF - BOOZIN' AGAIN.


I've been blogging a lot about DAVID HASSELHOFF lately, but it's simply because he can't seem to stay out of the headlines! He was barred from boarding a flight to Los Angeles because he showed up too drunk at London's Heathrow airport, according to reports. Hasselhoff had his travel plans postponed by two hours yesterday after airport officials declared him unfit to fly. Witnesses tell British newspaper The Sun the 54-year-old, who claims to have beaten his battle with booze, was clearly inebriated and his behavior startled them. One source, who saw the actor pick up the boss of the airport's duty free shop, said, "He seemed merry. He's a huge fella and the manageress is tiny. He picked her up then put her down." A British Airways spokesman confirmed, "A male passenger was denied boarding on the BA279 Heathrow to Los Angeles service because he was deemed unfit for travel. He was assessed later and passed fit to fly on BA283." Hasselhoff's publicist could not immediately be reached for comment.

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A PROBLEM LIKE JOHANWICH?


SCARLETT JOHANSSON turned down the lead role in a forthcoming SIR ANDREW LLOYD WEBER stage production of The Sound Of Music - after auditioning for the part and gushing it was her dream role. JOHANWICH was approached by the musical mogul about starring as Maria in the singing nun story and immediately agreed. She even gave an impromptu rendition of songs from the hit movie in front of a restaurant full of people to prove her singing credentials and obsession with the musical. However, the 21-year-old later snubbed the project and Lloyd Webber blames greedy managers for the sudden U-turn. He says, "We had a hysterical lunch which ended in the early hours of the morning. We were at the top of the Peninsula Hotel and she sang in front of everyone, which was fantastic. She can really sing. I said to her, 'Do you want to do Sound of Music?' She said 'yes'. We started planning things." But he adds, "Her people were not pro the idea. It became clear that it wasn't going to work because the demands became so ridiculous." Lloyd Webber claims managers and publicists for the starlet were dismayed by her low fees in comparison to lucrative movie work, and demanded she be accompanied by two minders backstage at all times. A spokesman for Johansson denies the demands, insisting, "(They) are extremely exaggerated. Her management team was simply asking for terms that an actress of her stature would ask for. The real reason why the negotiations stopped was the run of the play interfered with the production of one of the films she was slated to accomplish." The search for Maria has now turned into a UK reality TV hunt, with unknown actresses vying for role. Um....WHAT THE EFF?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:


HOT DOG EATIN', HOT DOG WALKIN' HASSELHOFF!

FROM THE HALLMARK HALL OF FAME VAULTS: The Flamingo Rising.


HHoF: THE FLAMINGO RISING tells the story of Hubert Lee (BRIAN BENBEN) who decides to open the world's largest drive-in movie theater across the street from a funeral parlor. A feud erupts between Lee and Turner Knight (WILLIAM HURT), the owner of the funeral home. As Lee's many promotional ideas become more and more outrageous, he continues to enrage Knight until one of the promotions backfires with grave consequences. Oh, and it also stars ELIZABETH McGOVERN and ANGELA BETTIS. And has the word "flamingo" in the title. So...yeah.

POINT / COUNTERPOINT: THE HISTORY BOYS.

POINT: This play is really good.

COUNTERPOINT: I can't decide which of the history boys is the hottest. Wait...

...and...go!


POINT: This play is so good! Not enough plays are about education and the lengths students and teachers go to in order to achieve academic superiority. Fascinating!
COUNTERPOINT: Okay, so kid in a candy store. All these boys are so cute! I think my fave is....that one. With the floppy hair. No, not that one. The one with all the buttons on his blazer. Yeah, THAT one. Dreamboat!
POINT: I can see how RICHARD GRIFFITHS won a Tony for best actor. His performance is so specific and nuanced. AND he speaks perfect French. This guy can't go wrong.
COUNTERPOINT: Oh wait...THAT one is supposed to be the resident hunk? Hrm. Yeah, I guess he's pretty hot. No, definitely hot.
POINT: The set is amazing. It accurately captures the feeling of a English grammar school and combined with the video projects between scenes, it evokes the pop culture of the time period, as well as the subjects the boys are learning.COUNTERPOINT: Wait. I really like the Muslim one. Can Mira Nair give this guy a career? Mmmmm....
POINT: Not only does this play have a strong message on the shift in educational approaches, it also serves as a cautionary tale for placing too much importance on testing and acceptance to prestigious schools of higher learning. It approaches the subject matter with realism, compassion, and a good sense of humor.
COUNTERPOINT: Wait...I hadn't even noticed that one before. He's gorgeous! I think I might pass out from this many hot guys.....(drooling)

NICHOLAS CAGE RUINS EVERYTHING!

NICHOLAS CAGE is set to play LIBERACE in a biopic of the legendary singer's life. Cage is producing the project himself and his already hired a team of writers to bring the gold lame' queen's life to the silver screen. He is also meeting with directors. No studio is attached. Hm. Bitch REALLY wants an Oscar. Meanwhile, there are so many better actors who could play LIBERACE. Such as:

- STEVE CARELL
- DANIEL DAY LEWIS
- PAUL GIAMATTI
- KEVIN SPACEY
- AMANDA BYNES

WAX TRANNIE OFFSPRING!


The NYC branch of Madam Tussaud's Wax Museum has created a figure of SHILOH NOUVEL JOLIE-PITT. This is the museum's first child. The offspring of ANGELINA JOLIE and BRAD PITT'S statue will be unveiled today. MADDOX and ZAHARA are SO jealous.

SNORE. WE ALREADY KNEW YOU WERE GAY, LANCE.


LANCE BASS of *NSYNC has finally come out of the closet, which is actually a lot more than I can say for most gay celebrities (I'm looking at you, GAYKEN....KEVIN SPACEY........TOM CRUISE.......sigh....you know who you are). Anyway, he's all over the press with this shizzy and is actually fairly articulate about his decision to come out, et al:
"I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand, and I knew that if I ever acted on it or even said [that I was gay], it would overpower everything. I didn'’t know: Could that be the end of ’*NSync? So I had that weight on me of like, '‘Wow, if I ever let anyone know, it's bad.' So I just never did. The thing is, I'm not ashamed - that's the one thing I want to say. I don't think it's wrong, I'm not devastated going through this. I'm more liberated and happy than I've been my whole life. I'm just happy. The main reason I wanted to speak my mind was that [the rumors] really were starting to affect my daily life. Now it feels like it's on my terms. I'm at peace with my family, my friends, myself and God so there's really nothing else that I worry about."
Well...good for you, Lance Bass. Welcome to the club.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:


BLOATED, LEATHER JACKET WEARING HASSELHOFF!

LINDSAY LOHAN SHOWS UP AT JEREMY PIVEN'S BDAY PARTY AND, WELL...

Wait. She's totally THAT drunk girl at the party, isn't she. Piven looks like he's having such a hilarous interior monologue about it.

DISGUSTING.

WHO IN THE..



SO...BEING GAY MEANS IT'S OKAY TO HAVE RANDOM SEX IN A SHRUB?

KENNY GROSS caught lover GEORGE MICHAEL in the bushes of a London park with another man and called off their upcoming wedding. The two have been together for 10-years and were planning to celebrate by throwing a lavish wedding in England. George denied that he did anything with the man and told a reporter that he was "gay and it's in his culture." WHAT? DON'T SAY THOSE THINGS! DON'T ADD FUEL TO DUBYA'S FIRE!

OWEN WILSON: JUST ANOTHER SCHLOCKMEISTER?

Well, according to STEELY DAN, anyway. They are accusing dreamboat OWEN WILSON of plagerizing their song, "Cousin Dupree" for his new stinker, YOU, ME & DUPREE. In a letter posted on their website and addressed to Wilson's brother LUKE WILSON, band members DONALD FAGAN and WALTER BECKER label Wilson's supposed rip-off of their 2001 Grammy-winning track as "uncool." They write: "Your brother has gotten himself mixed up with some pretty bad Hollywood schlockmeisters." Wilson plays slacker Dupree, who becomes an unwelcome guest of his pal MATT DILLON and his wife KATE HUDSON - and Fagen and Becker draw parallels with their Randolph Dupree character, a traveling musician who "comes back home to plan (his) next move from the comfort of (his) Aunt Faye's couch." They continue: "When it came time to change the character's name so people wouldn't know what a rip the whole thing was, they didn't even bother to think up a new name for the guy." Um....this is the most hilameous thing I've ever heard of. That is all.

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Calista Flockhart




Monday, July 24, 2006

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:


GET HOFF OR DIE TRYIN' HASSELHOFF!

THE BEST SHOW EVER?

Pillar of TV excellence, FOX, has announced plans for a new celeb-reality show entitled CELEBRITY DUETS. The celebrities on the fall singing competition haven't been announced yet, but whoever they are, they'll have a fairly deep roster of recording artists backing them up. A group of singers ranging from Motown legend SMOKEY ROBINSON to '80s pop stars RICHARD MARX and CYNDI EFFIN LAUPER will be taking part in the short-run show, which is being produced by (who else?) SIMON COWELL. The 13 professional singers will be paired with other famous folks who aren't known for their vocal chops. The lineup of celebrities hasn't been settled yet, but FOX chief Peter Ligouri assures that "as a public service," the show is making every effort to cast people who can actually carry a tune. In addition to Robinson, Marx and Lauper, the other singers signed up for "Duets" are MACY GRAY, RANDY TRAVIS, DIONNE WARWICK, BRIAN McNIGHT, PATTI LaBELLE, CHAKA KHAN, AARON NEVILLE, CLINT BLACK, KENNY LOGGINS and MICHAEL BOLTON. Songwriter and producer David Foster, who was a guest coach on "American Idol" last season, will serve as a judge. Each week, the celebs in the competition will be paired with a different singer and perform live with their partners. The audience will vote each week on which famous people go home, and the winner will earn a prize for his or her favorite charity. "Celebrity Duets" premieres Tuesday, Aug. 29 and will move to its regular Thursday timeslot on Sept. 7. A results show will debut on Friday, Sept. 8.

CELEBRITY PHOTOS OF THE DAMNED: Lindsay Lohan

DAVID BECKHAM IS AN OOMPA LOOMPA!

THE BEST NEWS EVER: DAVID HASSELHOFF BIOGRAPHICAL MUSICAL!


DAVID EFFIN HASSELHOFF is to star in a musical based on his life. Hasselhoff, who battled alcoholism, is quoted as saying: "I am doing a heart-rendering set on my life and the mistakes I have made. It sounds like a bad joke, but it is really going to be a good show... totally campy. It's written by the same people who wrote BETTE MIDLER'S show and produced by the people who produced Chicago in London." The show - simply called David Hasselhoff: The Musical- will open in Melbourne, Australia, before moving to America. He added "If it ends up in Las Vegas, how great would that be? I want to entertain people. SAMMY DAVIS JR was my hero."

TINA FEY IS A FOOL; SNL IS OFFICIALLY OVER.

TINA FEY has decided to leave her position as head writer of SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, a job she has had for the last nine years. I would support this move if she was going to focus on making movies like MEAN GIRLS all the time, but instead she is leaving to devote her time to her new show, 30 ROCK, which is CLEARLY GOING TO SUCK, despite the involvment of genius ALEC BALDWIN. She is writing a new movie which looks like it will be hilarious, but clearly, she needs to get her priorities straight. Oh, and this means that SNL is offically over since she was the only one keeping that sinking ship afloat and I don't think ANDY SAMBERG is very good at treading water.

Friday, July 21, 2006

HASSELHOFF OF THE DAY:


EYE PATCH WEARING, GUN-TOTING, CIGAR-SMOKING HASSELHOFF!