Thursday, June 01, 2006

TV RANT: Ding, dong, the witch is dead!

Well, not dead exactly. But gone. Definitely. I used to watch the TODAY show every morning. I loved its delightful blend of news, vapid chit-chat, "inspiring" human interest stories, and weekly outings with Stephen Cojocaru. However, I had to stop watching due to my BITTER hatred of TV's most loathsome "sweetheart" (read: idiotic vomfest): KATIE COURIC. Now she is gone, to go eff up the CBS Evening News, which was had been helmed by DAN RATHER and WALTER CRONKITE before him. A journalistic pillar of excellence which was held in religious reverence by my mother every night when I was growing up. Now it shall be besmirched by the tanned, bleach-blond, nauseatingly perky Couric. But I digress.
Yesterday was her last day on the TODAY show and NBC went all out to send her off. There were hours and hours of her colleagues telling weepy tales of how she is so "generous" and "down-to-earth," thousands of well-wishers telling her how much they love her, millions of pictures of her in varying hair styles! And through it all, Couric remained not stoic, not grateful, but downright BORED. I'm sorry, but when THE JERSEY BOYS AND HARVEY FIERSTEIN PERFORM A SONG FOR YOU WRITTEN BY MARC SHAIMAN, SAY SOMETHING BESIDES, "THAT WAS CUTE."
(screaming, [indecipherable], throwing glass breakables off desk.....quiet sobbing.....regaining composure).
Well goodbye, Katie Couric. When it's time for me to watch the real news, I'll get it from Jon Stewart like everyone else. Good day. I SAID GOOD DAY.


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