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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE: Tomkitten!


After months of darksided speculation, Katie Holmes delivered a 7 pound, 7 ounce, 20 inch baby girl yesterday. Whether she had a silent birth or whether the "dad," Tom Cruise ate the placenta is still a mystery, but what is known is that they did, in fact, give the innocent child an appropriately pretentious name: SURI. Apparently, that means "princess" in Hebrew or "red rose" in Persian. I think it probably means "doomed from the start."

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