Thursday, April 20, 2006

POINT/COUNTERPOINT: The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial.


POINT: Nothing about this play keeps the audience engaged. True, a show about a military court case is not exactly tantalizing, yet no effort was made to truly move the viewer.

COUNTERPOINT: Wow. David Schwimmer is really hot. I mean, Friends was on for what, 10 years? How could I have never noticed this before? He is...dare I say it? Dreamy.

POINT: For a show such as this to succeed, there needs to be at least one shocking moment that really captivates the audience, as in the "you can't handle the truth!" and "do I make myself clear?" "Crystal." sections of A Few Good Men. There are no such moments here.
COUNTERPOINT: He's taller than I would have guessed. And his shoulders are so broad! I bet he could lift me above his head without even breaking a sweat. I wonder how much he benches...

POINT: The cast is so robotic, I would think they were reading from cue cards offstage, but a few times David Schwimmer and Tim Daly tripped over their own dialogue, so clearly they had made
an attempt at memorization. I found the performances so tiresome that the only person onstage I was drawn to was the court stenographer, who at least had an activity worth watching.

COUNTERPOINT: That's it. I'm smitten. Does David Schwimmer have a girlfriend? I don't think he's married. He's like, 40 years old, right? Is that too old for me?

POINT: Perhaps the performances would not have been so stale had a director such as Scott Ellis, who helmed the Roundabout's thrilling Twelve Angry Men, worked the same magic here. But left in the hands of Jerry Zaks, this play does nothing but bore.

COUNTERPOINT: Is there even a play going on? I don't care. All I can see are the chirping birds floating around David Schwimmer: my new boyfriend.


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